


A Sunrisen Seedling

by Payload



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fighter/Barbarian, Fluff, Multiclass, No Beta, Parenthood, Planned Motherhood (By the Wildmother), Ritual Sex, Smut, Temporary Character Death, Unplanned Pregnancy, We Die Like Men, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:22:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21982093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Payload/pseuds/Payload
Summary: It had been two months, you recall, since the encounter.You almost didn't notice the change of your body. The cold touched you more. The wind flew through your hair often. The sick feeling in your gut always wrenching. It never ended.Not like you got to find out as you lied there helpless, vision blurry and smoke in your lungs. What a warm embrace death was enticing for you, but another presence was stronger."Today is not your day to die, child."
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 180





	1. Reincarnation

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a hot second since I've written anything at all, but I really had some ideas flowing. I figured the Caduceus/Reader tagged needed more to it. Feel free to write a comment of those who linger on this thread. If you dare :)

It had been such a tough fight so far. It was clear that you were not at your best. Your sword was a second too late delayed. You nearly slipped when trying to dodge an attack. Your stomach clenched even harder.

What was happening?

Suddenly, Caleb Widogast casted a spell. A mountain of flame erupted near the spot he pointed at. The enemies inside were scorched, turned to mere giant-meat.

There had to be five more on the Mighty Nein’s tail. Fjord struggled to escape the grasp of an ogre. Jester was all too busy healing Beau and pick her back up on her feet, blood leaking out of her nose and her mouth. 

Suddenly, your name is on someone’s lips. You were used to the hard scratch of it in the heat of battle. You react quicker than you have been in this battle.

Your feet begin to run towards the source. Nott was swiftly swatted with a large wooden club of the giant-kin, effectively throwing her against the wall. 

“Nott!” You screamed, “Are you okay?”

No response, not like you blamed the small goblin who was just thrown against a hard surface.

You only had a split second to look around. Yasha sliced one down with her Magician’s Judge, the golden gleam deflecting a spell that the resident giant-kin spellcaster was trying to throw at the group. You tried looking for a head of pink hair, but he must have been busy.

Angry tears, you felt useless in the moment. Emotions were high and unstable. 

Then you felt it again, that damn wind. It pushed against your neck, and it smelled like dried lavender and a small bit of pine. In such a cold place, this was unnatural. 

“Damn it all!” You cursed as you went to scream at the giant-kin that punted your goblin teammate. A rage filled your body. It burned in your veins like the fire of a volcano. 

Your attacks were reckless and ruthless. You picked up your sword and charged at it with all your might. The thick skin was imposing and difficult to cut through, but by the gods you were going to kill this creature. One attack. Two attacks. It was a fervor that you had never felt in your life. 

Yasha had explained, or at least tried to, how it felt during her rages in the past. It was crippling anger in exchange for power. It was putting yourself up in front of the enemy and spitting on them like they were the scum of the earth, a bull with a red cape. The anger swells and aches inside, keeps you going.+ Raging is the primal need to survive, an emotion that only a select few can really use the potential of. 

“You know, you get used to it… after a while,” Yasha had said after, a small smile on her lips, “Emotions feed you and make you stronger, but don’t let it control you. That’s how I learned to control it.”

But you were reckless. You were so focused on saving Nott that not only did two sneak behind you but also flanked you. You were already so hurt, but the slash of a rusted sword and the blunt end of a club completely ended you. 

Not completely. The heat on your neck, the smell of lavender and the fall autumn leaves, came over you. 

The presence of death and the possibility of it was warm. It was lying in a pool of water, or was it blood? You couldn’t really tell. Your vision was black, but you could see shapes. Vaguely humanoid, you know. What was happening?

You didn’t want to die. You didn’t want it to end. You had so many loose ends to tie up, so many chances to prove yourself was a warrior, a fighter. 

Tears swelled up in your eyes. This was it. 

Screaming was heard, a large explosion of something.

You began to think about your friends, the Mighty Nein, and how you met.

You had been kidnapped, stuffed in a cage and told to shut it. There were others there, some that were starving and others that were pets to the master of the house. Jester and Fjord had been kidnapped by the same people as well as some kind firbolg people. You knew how to speak giant, and the very little time that was spent in somber lonesome was used to spark conversation. 

A child here, how would someone let that happen? He was sweet and adorable (adorable as dirty and bloodied a child can get). His father was always tired, but he held small talk too. 

You felt a hand on your stomach and a small pump of energy to your chest. You thought back to it. You wondered how it would feel like to have a child. Children were so… innocent. They were to be cherished and given a good home. You wondered how a child would feel in your stomach in a body of a fighter and a mercenary. 

It felt like weeks before someone opened your cage. A team of people with all kinds of heritages broke the chains that restrained everyone’s freedom. A gentle face greeted yours, similar to your own friend’s. 

“Are you alright?” He said, his green eyes searching for emotion on your face. 

In your delirius state without food and water for days, you crawl out and ran forth, wrapping your arms around him and hugged him tightly. You remembered that you thought this was the firbolg father you had been talking to, but no. It was a neck full of fur that was greeted by your face, tears staining it quietly.

“Is she okay?” Whispered an accented voice, Zemmian in nature, “She is barely clothed, and… it looks as if she has not been fed.”

A silent exchange happened. You didn’t know. This firbolg smelled like home. He _was_ home. 

“Does she need a drink?”

“What? No, why would she?” A southern accent replied, “Caduceus, do you need help prying her off? It might be the shock?”

“I can heal her,” Whispered another voice, playful in nature although tired, very tired. 

You felt your legs drop from under you, a bridal hold as the firbolg named Caduceus picked you up, “She is quite alright. I’ll carry her up to the warmth, make some tea for her and the others. Recovery is what we all need. Isn’t that nice?”

The memory should have been traumatizing. The whole ordeal that you were about to be sold by slavers was something you had accepted while trapped, but this group was your savior. Their _kindness_ willed you forward. 

A pulse pushed through your soul. It was warm, comforting. You imagine the picture of your mother on the farmstead you grew up on. A single woman working the field by herself. Her wrinkled smile and her loving embrace. It was a feeling you missed.

You heard a shattering noise of something, and the hum of this presence became much stronger. 

_“The traveler attempts to resurrect you, child… but I have other plans for you.”_

A matronly voice whispered in your ear, but it felt like a small gust. You even heard the croaking of a cricket.

_“Today… is not your day to die.”_

*

Arms wrapped around you tenderly. They were long, furry, but more importantly warm. Your legs lifted off the ground with an arm to support the weight. You were a dead weight now, a slave to sleep until your body said otherwise to wake up. You heard it, though.

A small humming near your ear, a low but gentle tone. You could hear the fire in the background, the last of the attack party dying a painful death. You willed your eyes to open, but they felt too heavy.

“We… we lost her. She almost didn’t come back!” Jester yelled as you felt your hair be brushed out of your face.

“We should be glad that the Wildmother came in time,” Fjord commented. He felt close, but you couldn’t tell. Your body refused to move.

“Praise the Wildmother,” Whispered Caduceus, his large hand petting your hair.

“I think we should just get out of here before anyone else here dies,” Nott huffed, likely with her arms crossed.

“You know what? Let’s just find somewhere safe, for fuck’s sake. Cad, can you carry her? Someone please go find the morbounders?” Beau said irritatingly.

 _Why can’t I wake up?_ You thought, _I’m… aware, right? I’m not imagining this?_

“Caleb, can you do the teleport thing?” Jester asked, “I _seriously_ don’t want anyone else dying today. Please?”

You couldn’t heard much of the conversation after that. You felt movement and arms wrap around you protectively. 

Safe. Comforting. Sleep.

The slow molasses hum started again as the wounds on your back were covered in cold moss. Your hair was pushed aside by weary fingers before you felt lips on your forehead. 

“You’re safe now,” Caduceus hummed.

A lullaby for you to calm your mind, and his hug. Nothing else to focus except for his warm melody.

_Home._

Not like you would tell him…

Yet.


	2. Fertile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm glad this got a positive response! I'm eager to have a fic in this tag that isn't a) one chapter and b) isn't in a one shot book. There's nothing wrong with that though. The writers here in this small little tag are wonderful.

The slosh of water of a pale right beside you woke you from your slumber. A cool damp cloth was soft against your skin. This time, your eyes were obedient to their master.

The dark blue curls of the tiefling cleric Jester wiped away the grime and sweat. It was distinctly cold inside the dark room. A black ceiling made of small little stars greeted your return to the world. 

“Oh! You’re awake!” Jester piqued, stopping her actions and standing to get a good look at you, “Caleb made a circle to get us back to Roshana! We’re in the Xhorhouse right now!”

You smiled a small grin, “I’m glad we made it out of there.”

The light of the tree was dim in the window and past the balcony. You imagined Caduceus there, speaking to the plants and praying for your safety. That was a nice thought.

“Beau and Caleb went to collect the reward to Professor Waka. Yasha! You can come in! She’s awake!” Jester chirped with her never-ending positivity. 

The door knob jingled behind them as the large barbarian woman walked inside, the locks of her hair pulled up in a bun. Her eyes sparkled at your wakefulness, “You’ve returned. I’m glad to see it.”

You nodded, “Yeah, me too.”

“You should have seen yourself!” Jester suddenly said, making explosion noises and punching her fists in the air in front of her, “You slashed that guy to bits! He must have had a million slashes and then some! It was like you were a goddess!”

You blushed at the compliment, “A goddess that went on and got herself killed.”

“Oh, but that’s not the point!” Jester quickly brushed the negative comment away, “I know you just woke up and everything… but I wanted to ask something of you. Very personal.”

It wasn’t like Jester to ask permission. She was blunt in her own cute little way, but it must be serious if it had her ask.

You sat up slowly in your bed. The wool of your blanket felt fuzzy against your bare legs. There was also a shaw on top, wrapped around your shoulder. You ran your fingers through your hair, noticing that it was cut short. You had been trying to grow it out, but these things happened to adventurers like yourself. On the bedside table was an empty corked bottle and fresh bandages. A small cup of what smelled like herbal tea sit on the edge, slightly cold in temperature. You took it into your hands and took a sip. Earthy. A small bit of ginger and a leaf of mint.

You look back up to the two women and nodded, “You saved my life, Jester. I think you’re entitled to at least a personal question.”

Jester looked up to Yasha for some strength, you guessed before looking back to you. She took one of your hands, the one you use to fight with most and cupped it into her own.

“When were you going to tell us that you were pregnant?”

Hearing the word made you pause. Pregnant? How could you be pregnant? You drank enough alcohol in a night to kill whatever would grow inside you usually. Your face displayed your emotions clearly.

“Oh…. you did not know you were?” Jester asked quietly.

“I’m so sorry,” Yasha said afterwards, “We thought you knew?”

Your emotions began to change suddenly. It was like you were going through the five stages of grief in a mere ten seconds.

No, no, you just… couldn’t be pregnant. You were injured. You  _ died.  _

No! You weren’t ready to be a mother! You didn’t want this child to grow inside you! You… you didn’t have the means to grow such a child yet. Or ever!

Oh no. Wildmother, what did she do to you? You would do anything else rather than carry a child for saving your life.

If you were going to carry this pregnancy, you wouldn’t be able to do what you do, to earn your gold with adventure and danger. No one… no one would come visit you.

The realization of the situation finally dawned on you. This was happening, wasn’t it? You were pregnant. It made sense.

“It’s just that…” Jester’s voice trailed off, “I saw you die. I saw the life leave you. My feet carried me! I called the traveller! He came, but… the diamond, it shattered. It didn’t save you! It saved someone else!” She let go of your hand, pressing her index finger to your stomach, “It saved the life here.”

Your eyes lowered to your stomach. The… the child died?

“And then the Wildmother came! It was just like last time when Caduceus fell! She hovered over you, her image was like an orchard of pink blossoms and apples! Her hands caressed you! She kissed your hair and then she looked at me!” Her hands were all over in expressive motion. Yasha had an amused smile on her lips as did you, surprisingly, “She then reached into your chest and poof! Your heart started to beat again! Oh my gosh, she was so beautiful!”

You listened to her words fondly, “Thank you, Jester, for… for saving my child.”

Her cheeks flushed with dark across her freckles, “Of course!”

Yasha then stepped forward, placing her hand on your shoulder, “Now that we know this information, we need to keep an eye on you. I hate to ask, but… do you know the father might be? Or the mother perhaps?”

You knew who. You knew  _ exactly  _ who it was.

Your cheeks flushed at the thought of it. “I… Well, you can’t make fun of me, okay? And you definitely can’t tell him!”

Jester pressed her finger against her lips, and Yasha followed suit, sitting on the bed in front of you.

You remembered two months back. It was before the group arrived to Roshana. The travel had been astute, and humans like Caleb, Beau and yourself had a hard time going around. 

Beau had been assigned to be Jester’s “slave”. Fjord volunteered to keep Caleb safe while in the town. That left you, and of course, Caduceus, while not agreeing with this, volunteered to be your temporary “owner”. 

“Caduceus, you don’t have to,” You had said, “I can beat anyone up who tries to even touch me.”

He gave you a fond smile, the lopsided one that you loved so much, “I’d rather not have someone as important as you get captured. It’s okay.”

After the pit fight that entailed Beau and a drow women as the last two standing did it happen. 

“Dear?” He muttered, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I know you’re tired, but would you help me with something?”

You scowled, but it was all pretend. You were the rebellious slave. Orcs offered to buy you off of Caduceus because of your attitude. They had said that it was fun breaking in the more rowdy type. 

_ Disgusting pigs,  _ you had thought, but you nodded to your closest friend. 

The travel back to you and Caduceus’ room was long and dry. The door closed behind you, and the firbolg was quick to untether you to the leathers that branded you as his slave. He then placed it neatly on the bed before looking through his bag.

He said your name, bringing your attention back to him, “I was thinking about talking to the Wildmother. I am.. Stumped, and I wish to speak with her. Your company is most appreciated.”

You nodded, “If you wish for me to protect the room while you commune, then of course, Caddy. Anything you need.”

There was a look in his eyes and a twitch to his nose. He slid off the plate from his chest and set it to the side as well as his staff. Even with his robes like this, he looked serene and precise despite his lax nature.

His cheeks then flushed a light pink before looking down to you, “Well, thank you, but I need your help with this one.”

Cocking your head to the side, you placed down your sword with curiosity, “Me? Help? What can I do to help?”

He took out some chalk and herbs. The candles smelled like dried lavender and astutely of incense, “I’m afraid to ask anyone else for this. The Wildmother has shown me my path towards my next destination, but I fear that I need to perform… a ritual to aid in this search. You have been my closest friend in this adventure. I trust you.”

The words made your heart hammer and your body warm, “Caduceus… Of course. That is very sweet for you to say.”

He gave you a lopsided grin, “Of course. It is just that it requires some things I am not so familiar with, but I think you’re more experienced with.”

You nodded, “Okay, just tell me what you need.”

You watched him visibly gulp, the bob of his apple in his throat giving away his nervousness. He avoided your eyes before glancing back down almost like he was looking into your soul.

“The Wildmother is everything around us. She keeps the surface solid for us to walk and follow her path. She is the start of life and all that are living will return to her. I attempt to commune with her in the highest moment of raw energy a person of any race has in their life. I would…” He faltered, “I ask that you help me with… the act of procreating, the action that creates life.”

You paused, “So… like sex?”

“Bluntly, yes. I trust no one else but you with this. Of course, you don’t have to.”

Sex. It was something you were familiar with. You’ve had your fair share of whorehouses in those days. You know what makes you tick.

You let out a breath before saying, “Caduceus Clay, I trust you. I will do this only because you asked.”

Your heartbeat skyrocketed. His arms wrapped around you in thanks. You were home again. 

You were in love with his calmness and his smile and Wildmother forbid, those droopy ears when they turned pink in flush. The fur around his neck drove you crazy and sometimes kept you warm in the cold. You were in love with the way he handled all living creatures but more importantly of all, you were in love with him as a whole. 

One day you would tell him but for now, this was a favor for a friend.

Not for a lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know if you guys want the smut scene or not. Let me know how you felt about this too!


	3. Conception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!!! Smut ahead! It's been awhile since I've written smut directly (aka, I rp if anyone's interested). You can skip this chapter if you're not comfortable! No one commented if they wanted it or not, so I just assumed some people did.

You had done many things in your life that you would consider crazy and totally in-the-moment. Agreeing to help Caduceus in this pursuit of a higher enlightenment for his deity was very much one of them. 

You stood there as he made a circle into the deep wood of the room’s floor. There were symbols in the circle you couldn’t quite understand, but you trusted Caduceus enough to know that these weren’t malicious. They were of a religious scripture, only those who have deep roots in certain religions would have.

Being around Caduceus would turn anyone religious, albeit to the Wildmother or the kindness he shows. 

On each corner of the runes, he placed a small candle. It smelled distinctly like honey and a touch of rosemary. You felt a small tingling on the back of your neck like it was a hand rubbing against the crook where your shoulder met. Caduceus turned to you once he was finished, his fingers dancing at the edge of his robes, “I would prefer to do this outside where the Wildmother is attuned with us both, but I know how much you like your privacy.”

You nodded, “Yeah, thanks.”

The air was thick with a sort of rich smell. You didn’t feel awkward. It felt… comfortable like sitting by the fire when it was cold out.

Caduceus nodded back before beginning to fiddle with his garment, the ties that keep it from drooping falling loose. You watched as the fur of his chest was revealed by the little that showed. Once it slipped off, he revealed a simple undershirt, white cloth with a speck of dirt here and there, and trousers, worn and fitted around his hips. You saw how some fur of his upper arm and his shoulder was burnt off, the skin there a little lighter than the rest. 

_ Beautiful,  _ you thought. He was one of a kind.

On his belt, he had his holy symbol carved by wood. His hand placed firmly on it before stepping into the circle with a jar in his hand. He then gave you a comforting smile, “I would like you to just strip to your underclothes if you could or whatever’s comfortable for you.”

You knew he wouldn’t care for your appearance if it appeared ugly or not, but that stare just made you feel like you were about to dance with no clothes on in front of Zadesh. You didn’t know whether or not to do it quickly, to get it over with, or slowly, because of your hesitancy. You slid off your armored plates as you thought to yourself quietly.  _ Caduceus knowing about sex?  _ You pondered as you slid off your shin guards and your boots,  _ Of course he would know. It’s something that Wildmother teachings would have, right?  _

You glanced back up to the cow man, his gaze ever so patient and lingering. Was he watching?

“Duh,” You whispered to yourself.

Your shirt was the easiest to get off followed by your thin trousers that provided a bit of air when you did travel. 

Underneath all that armor and clothes, you wore simple garments. You found a seamstress in Roshana that made you a bra that kept your breasts pressed against your chest to allow a more flatter chest plate for armor. In no way did you have huge breasts, but the bra did a good job at providing support and the illusion of having them at all.

A simple loincloth did you well in most cases, but today, you were wearing breeches, the smooth cloth that rivaled shorts if someone didn’t know any better. 

Caduceus was definitely staring now. Your skin was littered with scars from past battles. One long slash across your stomach that a bugbear heartily gifted you with his long sword. Some of your skin held burn marks and especially to your hip where a tattoo lay to hide a nasty-looking gash that never quite healed right. He seemed to get the lay of the land as his eyes scanned over the history of your body.

You then got an idea. You had no shame of your achievements, but… this was  _ Caduceus.  _ Why were you feeling shame?

With a challenging stare, you asked, “Do I require clothes at all during this ritual?”

That completely crumbled the look of calm as his look of gruntlement rose on his lips, “The less, the more connected we are. I was trying to be modest for your sake.”

You gasped in mock horror, “Caduceus, you think I’m modest?”

He then chuckled before pulling you into the circle, turning you around and placing his large hands on your shoulders. They dug into your flesh before he hummed, “Do you require… assistance?”

You shook your head, having done this routine a million times since. The piece of fabric fell after sliding off both of your arms. The surreal-ness hit you almost instantly after that as he tightened his hold. 

It felt like the both of you were stalling it, but you felt Caduceus took control as he mumbled for you to lay onto the floor and on your back. You watched him exit the circle to give you enough room. There was plenty by the time you got onto your knees and shimmied your legs in front of you. The smell of the herbs was heightened especially strong on the ground. 

Your eyes returned to the firbolg who faltered at the sight of you. He was soaking it in. He looked scared to look even.

_ “Caduceus,”  _ You whined, “Come on, you can’t quit now that you’ve gotten me on the floor..” You stopped, looked down and slid off the breeches with one fell swoop,  _ “Naked.” _

You gave him a second to process the rest of you before he surprised you by dropping onto his knees in front of you. The action frightened you into clamping your legs shut. You yelped loudly as his hands clasped onto your knees, prying them open.

Caduceus took the opportunity to snake between your legs and slammed his palms onto each side of you. His breath was hot and had a slight quiver to it. It hovered right over your chest as he tried to keep it together, “Forgive me… I-I don’t know what came over me.”

_ Stuttering? Cute.  _ You thought as your body was still, “That’s okay. That just means you’re… okay with this, or you find my body acceptable.”

His head turned to look up at you. His pupils were dilated under his long eyelashes, “I-I… Well, I agree, very much so,” he commented, “I would like to touch your body. Is that okay?” 

You found yourself unable to answer though word, so you nodded, hyper aware that the fur of his arm tickled onto your skin.

Caduceus started with your neck. His thumb brushed against your throat as the other fingers gripped the back of your neck where your spine was. They slowly lowered down the curve of your neck and onto the lean muscles of your shoulders. Your skin trembled as they slid down your arms gently. He reversed his movement and anchored onto your clavicles, his thumbs running circles slowly into the bone. 

You grunted, not used to the slow pace. It felt all too intimate. He seemed to study each inch of your skin with his fingers, tracing every imperfection and knot. “Caduceus?” You said breathlessly.

Caduceus only shushed you. You only noticed now that he was painting something on you. His fingers then lowered enough to meet the globes of your breasts. His palms were enough to cover the entire front side of it as he loosely groped it. Your breathing hitched as he glanced up at you at your reaction.

“Everything okay?”

With a blush, you nodded.

His hands settled and squeezed the flesh, the fur of his arms brushing and tickling against your rib cage. His touch made you all too sensitive. Where was your thick skin? 

He then leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your heart, slightly to the right of your cleavage. It seemed his mouth started to follow into what would have been his hand’s path. Skipping every few inches, he pressed a kiss to your rib cage, each ab and eventually your waist, his breath very close to your ever growing heat.

“Fuck,” You cursed, trying to find something to grip on. His soft lips and his lazy pace was driving you fucking nuts.

“You seem frustrated,” Caduceus chuckled as if he were reading your thoughts, “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Caduceus Clay,” You grumbled, “You know  _ exactly  _ what you’re doing.”

His fingers hovered over your skin before his thumb pulled your lips open where you knew your clit was throbbing lightly. He even had the nerve to use his other, fully pulling it apart and giving it a long stare, “I’m just admiring-- Ah, this is nice.”

Your body jolted when the pad of his thumb pressed against it like it was some buzzer. You couldn’t help the trembling grunt that escaped your throat against your better wishes. Just him touching you like this was unbelievably unparalleled. 

The kindled flames of the candles lit around you flickered at your reaction, spooking you a bit, but Caduceus brushed his fingers against the wet slit of your womanly slit, “Curious… Like a drooling petal.”

Caduceus looked up to you as you met his eyes. They asked you for permission, consent important in every step of this process. You nodded as you felt a curious finger slid past the exterior lips and inside the honey pot that is your sex. Your breath hitched at it entering you. It was clear that it had been a long time since you’ve been treated this tenderly. 

One finger became two, and then another one was added.The wet schlicking sound it made when he pulled out made you whine like a greedy little puppy. You felt so full already by his long fingers seemingly preparing you for what was truly coming. It filled you so much that you started to beg for it in quiet ways. Each whine earned yourself a hum from the firbolg. Each toe curl from him rubbing against that on particular soft spot was returned thoroughly with a curl of his fingers inside.

_ “Caduceus…”  _ You groaned, hands grabbing at the wood and breath panting, “S-stop… stop for a moment.”

The feeling of being overwhelmed was lightened when he slid each finger out, giving you a worried look.

“I’m fine,” You dragged out, “I think… I think we should do something else.”

“What do you suggest?” Caduceus said gruffly. You pretended not to see the tent in his own pants. Despite being in a cloud of lust, he was ever the gentleman.

You pointed to where you were as you sat up, “Come… Come lay here. I made it nice and warm for you.”

Caduceus then laughed and crawled up next to you. You made room for him as he sprawled out in the circle next to you. His chest was lifting and lowering in deep breaths, air slipping out his wet nose. His whole face was flushed as pink as his hair including his droopy ears. 

You then crawled onto his stomach, straddling it and looking down onto your prize. You could tell he was tense and panting. He was begging for it in his quiet way, his hungry eyes watching your every move. You then scooted up once, twice, four times, leaving a trail of your slick on his chest. You wanted to straddle that face and smother it.

Caduceus seemed to respond well, giving you room to scoot up to lift up just above his face. His hands went to grab the back of your thighs as he waited. He wanted orders or a guiding path, but your thoughts were interrupted when he licked those  _ damn  _ lips.

“Caduceus,” You said firmly, your legs spreading slightly, “Praise the Wildmother, but I’m going to ride the  _ fuck  _ outta’ your face. Think you could handle that?”

He nodded, having the nerve to bite his lip, “If it brings you pleasure and enjoyment, by all means.”

Maybe he was running on instinct, but he had such a smug grin. The grip on your thighs tightened when you lowered it onto his face. Eagerly, he met you halfway. You fought to thrust your hips down when he went tongue deep, his lips lapping up what his tongue could not. You cried out beautifully as your legs quivered with delight. 

Wanting more friction, you relentlessly thrust against his face. You were sure his whole face was wet and sloppy and drooling with spit, but you couldn’t give a damn. All you know is that he made up for his inexperience with such eagerness that it took a hold of you.

You even grabbed his pink locks and forced him deeper. Your own pleasure took hold for dear life as the wood creaked lightly under the weight of your knees moving. It wasn’t until the feeling of hot lava stopped you in your tracks. Having been so close to orgasm only to deny it for yourself made it bittersweet.

You finally realized what you had done when you let go of his head. Slightly horrified, you weakly fell back onto his chest softly, legs spread wide as you looked down at his reaction.

Just as you suspected, his face was dripping with the clear slick that you produced. A dazed look followed after that as he took in a big gulp of air. His lungs filled with air as his eyes targeted straight for you.

No words were exchanged and at this point, your clouded mind completely forgot that this was just business. You forgot that this was a ritual even to commune. 

You had a feeling it was the same for Caduceus, but you couldn’t pinpoint the exact emotion in his conflicted, angry look. That was quickly corrected when his hands nabbed your waist. With a burst of strength, you were pulled off him and placed on your left side, backside to his front side.

His arousal was very obvious, and the stain in front of it stained with a liquid. His trousers also left little to the imagination if she could feel it throb through the trousers. Moving against it slightly elicited a moan from him, more specifically your name in a deep voice.

One hand left you and took the warmth it had with it. When you were about to whimper for it back, you felt him fumbled with his pants, trying to shimmy enough to pull it out. 

Moments passed as he fumbled with frustration, but you could have sworn that you saw a woman, a faint visage and a small cold breeze. Before you could try anything, you felt that same hand grip your inner left though, prying those legs apart one last time. 

A hurried panting pressed against the back of your neck, a nose sniffing your hair that smelled like the incense that was burning. With your leg hiked up, you were given little to no warning when he shoved himself inside of you. His length was impossible to capture inside you, a firbolg to a human. 

You screamed out as you felt a burst of energy sent through you. Your heart was beating so much faster now, your womanhood pulsing hotly around its intrusion. 

“Caduceus!” You squealed out, fighting to move, but the arm around your waist kept you in place. 

Each thrust, primal and raw, blasted a powerful burst of magic through you. It was intoxicatingly deep the way he pressed against your cervix but never forced it. Caduceus felt so hot to the touch, and soon you couldn’t tell what was your own and what was magic. 

The last of you remember is Caduceus stuffing his face into your hair and groaning so hard, it rang through your core. Your skin was glowing, and there she was, the Wildmother. She sat next to you, one on your stomach and the other petting Caduceus’ side.

Caduceus mumbled something, and she answered. You could hear her.

Melora rubbed her mythical hand across your stomach, “A beginning,” She whispered, “Follow my way. Provide warmth for the seedling for you are its sun.”


	4. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arms wrapped around you from the back, larger than life hands squeezing you. You felt a pair of lips kiss the top of your head before a voice whispered, “Do you accept my boons? Will you protect all that I create?”
> 
> You could only nod, an ugly sob shaking you like a harsh wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys! All this stuff happening... College problems and junk of that nature.

“It makes so much sense now!” Jester exclaimed as she twirled her finger up in the air, “Caduceus wasn’t that kind of person who liked touch very much, but he likes to touch you!”

You chuckled lightly at her wording. The thought of romance always excited her. She had picked up a new book called  _ The Purple Heartling.  _ It was about a purple tiefling pursuing a child of holy blood, a forbidden romance as textbook as it could get.

“Do you intend on telling him?” Yasha asked quietly, watching you sip on your lukewarm tea, “Eventually, your stomach will show. What has it been? Two months? You need to go see someone for this.”

“And do what, Yasha?” You said back, nerved at the thought, “What would I tell him? That one time I helped with your spell, the WIldmother gave me a baby that I didn’t even want?”

Yasha flinched, slight hurt in her eyes as she looked away, “... I think you’re lucky to even have one.”

Realizing what you had said, you sighed, shaking your head, “Right, sorry. I’m just… upset. I shouldn’t have said that. Of course I want this baby.”

“Well then,” Jester cleared her throat as she reached into her pink backpack and handed you a small cupcake, “Eat this. I’m going to go tell the boys you’re awake.”

“Jester,” You quickly shout out your hand, “Please… please don’t tell them yet?”

“Your secret is safe with me!”

“And with me too,” Yasha added, nodding as she got to her feet too, “Whatever you need help with, tell me. I’ll protect you… and that baby at all costs.” She then smiled before saying, “I want to be the cool aunt anyways!”

Watching her laugh was a rare luxury, but you let her flee the room. Your nose tickled with the scent of stale cupcakes and a slight hint of the woodsy smoke. Glancing out the window, you placed your weary hand atop your stomach. You watched the twinkles of the artificial night wink back at you. 

Turning back to your lap, you closed your eyes. You didn’t know if you were talking to yourself or someone more, but… it brought you comfort to think of the Wildmother. She gave you this baby for a reason.

In some sort of baby’s first prayer, you focused hard before whispering, “Wildmother… you’ve saved my life again. I can’t thank you enough. I’m not sure why you’ve decided that it’s me. I’m… I-I’m scared. I don’t think I’ll be a good mom, but… but if you bless me with something as precious as this… I will accept your gift.”

Nothing. The thick sounds of cicadas rang numbly through the walls.

“Caduceus has been very kind to me. You’re lucky to have such a devoted follower. He is my friend… a good friend. Someone I cherish. I trust your faith.”

You kissed your fingers and pressed them to your exposed stomach. There was a life growing inside you. 

An innocent child, a beautiful child,

A child of Caduceus Clay. 

*

The thing about living in a city of eternal night was not knowing the hell when day was and actual night. You closed your eyes to a dark city only to open them to the same vision, only this time the window was open and a breeze smelling of salt spray brushed into your nostrils.

How did you smell the sea from all the way into Xhorhas? Were you already going crazy?

“You’re awake,” Mumbled words spoke as it broke you out of your heavy thoughts. You turned your head to see a head full of pink hair and a smile, “Jester said you were awake, so I came here with a refill.”

“How long was I out this time?” You questioned, a slight pink tint on your cheeks.

“Oh? Only about ten minutes,” He chuckled, “I thought I would stay here for a while and keep you company. Is that okay?”

You restrained yourself from answering too quickly. Brushing back the hair from your eyes, you scooted over in your bed and patted the spot next to you, “Of course I don’t mind. Come on.”

He took the invitation with an eager stride. He stripped himself of his coat and his shoes, sliding into the empty spot. He clasped his hand into yours, holding it tenderly as he laid back on the frame. 

It was a comfortable silence that settled among the room. You felt like you had been in this room enough as it is, ready to jump back out there and beat some butt. Caduceus made you feel grounded to the bed as he traced the lines and scars of your palm.

He pointed to one long drawn out one that started at your pinky finger and ended down to your wrist, “How did you get this one?”

You had to think for a second. You had tons of stories to tell but he picked the one that wasn’t made in battle. Humming, you glanced up at him, “Oh? That one? It doesn’t have a special story to it. I would help my mother on our farm before it was ruined. That was from sticking my hand in a cactus… and attempting to yank it out. I was such a stupid seven year old.”

“Nonsense,” Caduceus laughed, “Every scar on the flesh of a person is important. Even the most ridiculous of reasons can guide to another one worthy of a story told.”

Ever wise, you then point to the one encased in the base of your thumb, “This one was from an orc that cut my thumb off. Funny story really. He chopped it off and landed in the hands of the cleric helping the battle. She almost screamed and fainted, but she had enough gut in her to sew it back after the battle. It’s a miracle that it still works. Have you ever swung a sword without a thumb?”

“I can’t say that I have,” He mused as he traced the ring of scar tissue around it.

“It was so difficult! I just threw it down to the ground and punched the green-skinned bitch. Broke his nose after that,” You grunted before quickly adding, “Whoops sorry! Green-skinned idiot.”

“You know I don’t mind when you use that kind of language.”

That made you pause for a second. You watched him absentmindedly massage the palm of your hand.

“Caduceus?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t mean to pry, but…”

“Ask me anything.” A comforting and reassuring smile.

“I know we haven’t talked much about what happened during the ritual a few months back…”

The silence that took hold after made you hyper aware of your chapped lips, licking them with nervous intentions. You knew Caduceus was a lonely person and helped others more than himself. Maybe he didn’t want to talk about it?

_ Silly me,  _ You thought.

“I have yet to act on her words,” He explained, now his hands busying with your hair. His fingers felt nice, “I asked her what to do next. She couldn’t answer that, so I asked if I were to guide another to their blossoming. I thought I would help Fjord on his path away from his.. Patron, but I don’t think that was it.”

You listened to him. Her words at the climax of it all now made so much more sense, “So you think it’s someone else?”

You didn’t get an answer but you felt him nod, “‘Follow your heart’, she said, ‘You’ll happen upon a seedling.’ I asked her if I could find this seedling within distance of the group… She answered, ‘Closer than you think’.”

“You know goddesses… and them being cryptic sometimes,” You laughed nervously.

“They talk as they please. The Wildmother blessed me with guidance. I can only follow where she leads.”

“And where did she lead to?”

“To you.”

*

It was surreal to think that there was a life growing inside you. You look upon the lava forge of the Dust family in thankfulness. The cold followed you everywhere. The warmth comforted your achy back as the dwarf hammered long the lines of Star Razor.

The Wildmother had tasked Caduceus to bring his spots of living magic to the pools of Kravaraad. There, the spell component replacement burned of the Allhammer’s blessing, turning the substance to a purple crystal.

To everyone’s surprise, Fjord had thrown his falchion into the lava pits, severing his pact weapon to the heat. He renounced his patron. The move was incredibly ballsy, but Caduceus had encouraged his growth to something more. Fjord was always there for communes and for speaking with the goddess. It was slightly annoying to you, but you didn’t dare say anything to them. While Fjord was becoming a disciple of Caduceus and ultimately the Wildmother, you had your own problems.

“Maybe this is what she meant by seedlings?” Fjord had commented, glancing down at the palm full of them, “You’re the sun, so maybe you’re supposed to… I don’t know, plant them?”

“Possibly,” Caleb commented, focusing on the interesting development, “I have never seen such an instance of Residuum changing to this nature. Particular…”

“They don’t look like seeds!” Jester commented.

“Maybe they’re not finished?” Beau fired into the theory pot, “Cad said that he had other locations that the Wildmother showed him. His journey isn’t finished.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now,” Caduceus finally said, clasping the purple crystals in his hands, “I believe the blade awaits you.”

“Me?” Fjord pointed to himself, “I-I couldn’t possibly take that from you.”

“I think it was  _ meant  _ for you,” Caduceus said seriously, “A part of my mission to guide you into someone worthy of the Wildmother. Your first step is to embrace the kindness of her gifts that she has shown me. Take it. Star Razor.”

A sword like that you’d kill for. Fjord deserved it more after what he had been going through, right?

_ You deserve something too.  _ A voice in the back of your head said in a tiny voice.

While the others of the Mighty Nein talked and celebrated in the light of the mountain, you took your quiet exit to the mouth of the cave, the entrance to the forge.

Snow trickled down onto the mountain path, big puffy clouds meeting your line of sight. The view from the mountain was beautiful. The Dust family was incredibly lucky to have their forge somewhere this high. 

You placed a hand on your stomach, a small bump easily hidden by your armor. Jester had helped you hide it now but eventually, it'll start to show. The fear of that alone made your close your eyes, the cold nipping at your nose.

“Wildmother?” You spoke aloud through a whisper, “I know this is your scarred place… so maybe you’ll hear me from here.” You took in a deep breath before continuing, “You’ve revealed to me your true meaning to Caduceus’ mission. He guides me to your arms without him knowing, and I have a feeling you want  _ me  _ to guide him. I can only hope I do this right for you and for him. I-I just need a little something to know that you’re here, that you gave him this gift on purpose.”

You felt a sliver of a touch, a hand on your shoulder before it was gone. Comfort rushed over you as you felt that same motherly feeling hover over you like a blanket.

Tears filled your eyes and slid down your flushed cheeks. An overwhelming feeling of grief washed after that. The feelings clashed like swords to a man’s neck. You sobbed hardly as you went to wipe your tears.

“I miss her. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I’m so scared. I-I don’t know what to do. She would know,” You breathed out, cold condensed air rushing after your words, “You would know. Please stay with me… Please guide me. I’ll protect this baby with my dying breath and everything you grant me and the world. I-I just…”

Arms wrapped around you from the back, larger than life hands squeezing you. You felt a pair of lips kiss the top of your head before a voice whispered, “Do you accept my boons? Will you protect all that I create?”

You could only nod, an ugly sob shaking you like a harsh wind.

“You have experienced so much heartache. I love you with all my heart, daughter. I cannot mend what has already happened, but I can offer solace,” The voice whispered in the other ear, “I grant you my boons and the gift of the Wildmother for you will bear my power and my child.”

You never opened your eyes, but you felt the roots of the ground take hold of you. It engulfed you much like the same did with Fjord in his own transformation. It felt like resting under the roots of an old oak tree, a blanket wrapped around you and the stars the only thing you can see. 

The last thing you remember before succumbing to your tiredness was the visage of the Wildmother, autumn leaves as hair as it changed colors. Her skin was made of flowers and roots and branches. She looked like your own mother, the one that worked herself to an early grave from the work she did to provide for you. In her arms was a bundle as she cooed at it. She kissed the forehead of the small baby and handed it to you. 

The baby wasn’t there, but the potential was there. Nonetheless, you cooed tiredly at the small bundle before giving to the consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe some of you have guessed it, but you've become a zealot barbarian! The embrace of transformation isn't exclusive to Fjord...


End file.
